


Heaven and Hell Were Words to Me

by weenies



Series: G******** Week [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Day 2, Light Angst, Light Bondage, M/M, pretty much all sex, season 4, subtle praise kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4143687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weenies/pseuds/weenies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Mickey and Ian had been walking on eggshells since Ian came home from his brief stint in the army. Neither knew exactly what they were doing other than sating their desire to be near one another. </p><p>They fucked a lot, but there was still this heaviness that surrounded them, this unacknowledged tension.  They were together but every night Ian left to the club to do god knows what with other men. He wanted to be exclusive. He wanted to know that he was enough for Ian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven and Hell Were Words to Me

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Both Mickey and Ian had been walking on eggshells since Ian came home from his brief stint in the army. Neither knew exactly what they were doing other than sating their desire to be near one another.

They fucked a lot, but there was still this heaviness that surrounded them, this unacknowledged tension.  They were together but every night Ian left to the club to do god knows what with other men. He wanted to be exclusive. He wanted to know that he was enough for Ian.

He should have asked but he could never work up the courage to actually do it. He didn’t want to risk losing Ian. He didn’t want him to leave again. There was a small part of Mickey that believed he wasn’t good enough, would never be good enough. He had no right to expect exclusivity from Ian when he believed he was the scum everyone thought he was.  Ian used to make him feel important, loved, but now it seemed that love was conditional, dependent on him being something he couldn’t be. 

The Gallaghers were all out of the house so Mickey sat at the kitchen table nursing a half empty beer, waiting for Ian to come home. Ian had mentioned where everyone was going, but he couldn’t be fucked to remember. Ian had whispered promises to fuck him into the mattress as soon as he was home and he figured he couldn’t be blamed for forgetting.

It was four am when Ian finally walked through the threshold of the back door. He immediately smiled when his eyes settled on Mickey leaning back in his chair, eyes closed.

“Hey, Mick” Ian said as he brushed a hand through his hair, rousing him from his sleep.

Mickey blinked his eyes open and looked up to where Ian was standing over him. “You’re home late”

“Yeah, got held up at work. One of my regulars” Ian shrugged as if Mickey should know what that meant.

“Right. Well your probably all worn out from fucking all the guys at the club, I’ll just head to bed.”

The dejected look in Mickey’s eyes wasn’t lost on Ian. Mickey looked sad, looked devastated even. And he was. It was one thing to imagine what Ian did when Mickey didn’t make it to the club while Ian worked. It was another thing entirely to hear Ian talk about it like it didn’t mean anything, like it didn’t tear Mickey up inside to know Ian was getting elsewhere something Mickey was more than willing to give.

Mickey got to the first step before Ian smoved forward and grasped Mickey’s forearm.

“What’s gotten into you?” Ian asked softly.

“Nothing. Just tired” Mickey replied, not bothering to turn around.

He continued to walk upstairs toward Ian’s shared room. He grabbed some pillows and blankets and started setting up a place to sleep on the floor. He had been sleeping in Ian’s bed lately but he didn’t think he could handle Ian’s hands wrapping around him knowing they had touched someone else.

They hadn’t been exclusive before but Mickey had allowed himself to feel like maybe things were different this time. He allowed himself to think he’d finally be able to have Ian the way both of them had always wanted. It was disgusting really, how much Mickey was hurting. It made him feel weak. He was never vulnerable before and hated himself for allowing himself to be.

Ian stood frozen for some time at the bottom of the staircase before realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he was running, taking two steps at a time. He walked in after Mickey, slightly out of breath, his heart sinking when he noticed him throwing a pillow down onto the ground.

“Mickey, my job is to—“

“I don’t really want to hear about what you’re doing at the club. It’s fine, just forget I said anything”

Ian walked up behind him and placed his hands on Mickey’s hips, pulling way when he tensed at the touch.

“I haven’t really been fucking around since you got back.” Ian sighed “it’s just a job Mick. I dance, I get tipped. That’s all.”

He chanced a step forward, wrapped his arms around his waist, and rested his chin on Mickey’s shoulder.

It’s what he wanted to hear. Knowing Ian wasn’t with other guys should have been a relief. It was to an extent, but he still felt unworthy, like he would always have to prove himself. Prove that he was good enough to be with Ian. It was exhausting.

They stood there in the middle of Ian’s room until Mickey finally relaxed into Ian’s chest and mumbled something too softly for Ian to hear.

“What’s that?”

“I want you to fuck me”

“Ok” Ian said as he started to suck where Mickey’s neck met his shoulder How do you want it?”

“Hard.” Mickey breathed out.

“Hm” Ian said thoughtfully as he brought his hand lower and began rubbing Mickey through his clothes. “I want to tie you up against the headboard and fuck you so slow you won’t be able to think clearly”

“Fuck, Ian” was all Mickey could manage as he began to thrust ever so slightly against Ian’s hand, willing his thoughts of inadequacy to silence.

“Do you want that?” Mickey moaned and pushed forward in order to increase the friction Ian was providing. “I need an answer Mick”

“Yes, fuck” Mickey replied. “I want that”

“Ok, finish getting undressed and lay on your back” Ian nudged Mickey toward the bed and walked out the room. He came back in not long after he left with some lube, a condom, and what looked like a couple of rolls of ace bandages.

He emptied the contents of his hands on the dresser next to his bed and climbed over Mickey, grabbing his hands to hold them above his head.

He leaned forward and kissed Mickey slowly but firmly, refusing to allow Mickey to quicken the pace. Ian whispered compliments into Mickey’s mouth. “You’re so amazing, so beautiful” Mickey would have scoffed if his mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied.

 They continued for what felt like forever to Mickey before Ian eased off of him and reached for the bandages. He made quick work of tying Mickey’s wrists to the headboard, checking to make sure they weren’t too tight and dropping kisses onto Mickey’s lips frequently.

Once Mickey’s hands were securely in place, Ian moved down to place kisses on Mickey’s chest, arms, hip, and thighs.

It was almost too much for Mickey. He wanted to reach down and touch Ian, but the restraints on his wrists wouldn’t budge. “Just relax. This is about you, not me.” Ian rubbed his hand along Mickey’s hip as he placed kisses on the inside of his thigh. “You’re doing so great Mickey”

Ian moved away from where he was sucking at Mickey’s thigh and chuckled when Mickey groaned loudly. He was frustrated and so fucking hard.  He wanted to curse and yell at Ian to hurry up and touch him, but Ian didn’t give him the chance. Instead he leaned forward and brought the head of Mickey’s cock into his mouth, drawing strangled gasps from him.

Ian continued to suck and could hear the rattle of the headboard where Mickey was undoubtedly pulling at his restraints.

“Please, Ian” he managed.

Ian finally relented a couple seconds later and moved up Mickey’s body so they were face to face. “You want to come?” he said as he trailed a finger lightly over Mickey’s cock.

“God yes” Mickey’s voiced hitched, Ian’s touch causing his cock to twitch painfully and his hands grab onto the headboard in frustration.

Ian moved off of Mickey and while he’ll deny it later on, Mickey whined at the loss of contact.

Ian laughed and grabbed the condom off his dresser, rolling it on before reaching for the lube. Mickey glanced up to see what was taking so long and caught Ian’s smirk as he pressed a finger inside of Mickey. A chorus of _oh fuck_ and _fuck Ian_ filled the room as Ian pushed in and out opening Mickey up so he could add another finger.

He continued to gently massage Mickey’s prostate slowly as Mickey cried out and squirmed below him.

Before Mickey could full out beg, Ian was spreading Mickey’s legs, lining himself up, and pushing in. Mickey thought he might have stopped breathing but his focus was on Ian who had now started to thrust slowly into him. It felt amazing but Ian still wouldn’t touch him the way he wanted him to.

“Fuck, Mick. You feel so good.”

Ian didn’t pick up his pace for quite some time, despite Mickey’s protests. He continued slowly and kissed Mickey gently, whispering to him about just how perfect he was.

Mickey was breathing heavy against Ian, his stomach clenching uncontrollably.  The unbearably slow pace must have become too much for Ian too because he began thrusting increasingly faster.

His rhythm faltered and he began to thrust erratically, frantically trying to reach orgasm.

“I’m yours Mick” Ian gasped out, dropping his head to Mickey’s shoulder. He had his right hand tangled in Mickey’s hair and his left hand finally wrapped around Mickey’s cock. “Just yours”

Mickey cried out as he came, his body trembling through the orgasm he had been desperate for. He could wax-poetic about how incredible it felt to finally get release, but all his brain could supply was _Fuck, Fuck, Fuck._ Mickey figured it described the feeling well enough.

Once he had stopped shaking, Ian pulled out and reached up to unfasten the ace bandages around his wrists. Mickey hadn’t noticed Ian’s orgasm and offered to help him finish, but Ian shook his head with a smile. “I already did” He said as he bent down to kiss him.

Ian pulled back and rolled off the bed in order to grab some tissues, first making sure Mickey knew he would be coming back. Mickey didn’t want to move but he also didn’t want to push his luck. Ian’s words of encouragement made his heart swell and his insecurities wane. But people say a lot of things during sex.  It didn’t mean they were true. Ian had always been one to get caught up in the moment.

Mickey was still trying to catch his breath when Ian returned and cleaned up the both of them. He finished fairly quickly and went to search for their boxers on the floor.

When Mickey could feel his legs again, he sat up and pushed himself to the edge of the bed. Ian caught the movement from the corner of his eye and turned to see Mickey bending down to fix his blanket and pillow.

“Come on, you aren’t sleeping on the floor” He said as he walked over and handed Mickey his boxers.

“The floors fine” Mickey replied tiredly.

“I want you in bed with me”

Ian brought his hands up to stroke Mickey’s cheek and place a kiss to his forehead. He climbed onto his bed and lowered Mickey down until he rested next to him. Mickey was too tired to protest and relaxed into the mattress. He felt Ian wrap his arm around his waist to pull him in close.

“I meant what I said Mickey. You’re amazing.” Ian said into Mickey’s shoulder, his lips brushing against his skin as they moved to form the words. “I’m sorry I ever made you feel different”

It wasn’t enough to quite rid Mickey of the pain of rejection, but it was a start. They had a lot to talk about, but Mickey allowed himself to fall asleep in his boyfriend’s arms, saving that conversation for another day.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know who I am anymore  
> I'm on [tumblr](anxiouslysarah.tumblr.com)


End file.
